people

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At 30000 Feet

The air is clear up there, they said.

Big becomes small, drama left behind, they said.

But what of the terrified child,

the one who’s never done this before?

But what of the foreigner,

the one who needs deodorant, like right now?

But what of the business man,

the one who’s talking over the safety spiel?

But what of the obese man,

the one who’s rattling my brain with his walrus tongue?

But what of the distracted stewardess,

the one who’s hips slam my not-so-funny bone?

And closer to home, what of the two boys, the ones arguing

for technology with rolling eyes like Vegas slot machines?

Charlie Brown’s teacher mumbles something, then we descend.

Wheels search, then grab, pavement. I crave coffee. Its embrace

obliterates the lousy flight, and instantly I’m grounded once again.

C. L. Swinney (c) 2015

On Citing People, Part One

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On Citing People, Part One

I’m in vehicle sixteen and parked in

plain sight. Words-with-Friends may

be open, but I still study an intersection.

A tiny green “Smart Car” roars through

the limit line and I grin.

My cell phone hits my duty

bag as the accelerator is smashed.

The stares and mouths agape never

gets old. Within moments, I’ve tracked

my prey and call it in cautiously

checking for hazards. Patiently, I wait

for my gut and eyes to

digest what’s in front of me.

Ticket or warning? The egregious

violator pulls over. Cautiously, I creep

along his mini vehicle, tapping my

gun handle and peering  into the

cab, searching for the driver’s hands.

I start my spiel… anger and

saliva are his rebuttal. Geez

guy, it’s just a ticket…verbal

Judo fails, a soft smile fails,

hands conveying peace fails. I consider

a hasty retreat, walking away since

it’s not worth it, but I’ve

seen this routine before. Ah ha!

Now I smell it, the “medicine”

that causes some people to act

imbecilic. I’m into the car now,

sniffing and searching like a canine.

I find his stash, the reason for

the deflection, his attempt to throw

me off my game. Now he’s

in handcuffs, and I smirk.

I impound the “Smart Car,” which causes

the tow truck driver, a mean,

gruff, and burly man, to point

and chuckle at the accused…judging

him without a robe or wig.

Daily Rant #4

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Yes, this one really irks me.  So you are in your car and a pedestrian is coming up to the crosswalk in front of you.  You slow and stop and give them plenty of room to walk across the street.  Then, for some unknown reason, they give you the stink eye and walk as slow as possible to the other side!!!!  WTH?!?!?!?  What is really going on there??   Today was the day that this behavior forced me to act.

I jumped out of my car after placing my hazard lights on and politely asked, “Excuse me Sir, would you like assistance crossing the street?”

With a puzzled look the 20-something year old man replied, “Ummm, no.”  Then he turned a little red in the face and picked up his pace across the street.

“Ok, have a great day,” I said as I got back in my car and safely drove away.

What are your experiences with this??

 

C.L. Swinney