Well, I took a stab at writing true crime and wrote a Novella entitled, “Robert Pickton: The Pig Farmer Killer.” It ended up a best seller and #1 Best Seller in numerous categories! Check it out if you get a chance. This guy can feasibly be released from Canadian prison and has already said he’s going to do the one thing he does best, murder.
This is a picture of the “missing” socks at my house. Everyday I walk by the small white wicker basket we use to store these poor guys and wonder, what happened to the other sock? So, after months of neglect and laziness, I decided to figure out what was happening. I assumed this would be easy, I mean how hard can it be to find a stinking sock??
First, technology. I thought about using a small tracking system for an existing pair of socks thinking maybe I’d be able to track where the socks disappear to. Water doesn’t mix with electricity, so that was out. I thought about connecting a pair of socks, but I made a big hole in the socks and I got busted by my wife for ruining a pair of socks…
Second, brute strength, I hit the streets to locate the missing socks. I got crazy and pulled the washing machine and dryer away from the wall so I could thoroughly search. I actually found two socks, but I had to add them both to the basket of misfits. I did locate a baseball glove that my son swore was “missing” (tricking me into purchasing a new one..) and some wet cat food, which for my cat Jasper was a win.
Third, follow leads. I headed to the dreaded sock drawers in my house. I dumped all the socks on the table from all the rooms, and sure as heck, I was able to locate the second sock for three from the previous missing misfit pile. They all happened to belong to my youngest son. I’ll ask him to put them away when he gets home from school, but I’m pretty sure they will end up somewhere other than the sock drawer….
I got super crazy and went to the other clothes piles and closets in the house and shook them out and turned them inside out to see if a sock got stuck in a pant leg or shirt sleeve. I found two dryer sheets and a piece of bubblegum…and a crumpled up dollar bill (Cha-Ching!!).
I searched my bedroom, under the bed (I know, super creepy right?), and found something quite interesting. I found a small basket containing single socks! Eureka! Rejoice! Rejoice! Match after match was found until I was left with these two lonely socks.
Lastly, plead for help. And now the point of this silly story. I’m looking for the second sock for the two located above, a Lightning McQueen and Puma. If anyone has any leads on these missing socks, I would greatly appreciate the assistance. Of course, all “found” socks and tips will be anonymous.