Case of the Missing Socks.

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This is a picture of the “missing” socks at my house.  Everyday I walk by the small white wicker basket we use to store these poor guys and wonder, what happened to the other sock?  So, after months of neglect and laziness, I decided to figure out what was happening.  I assumed this would be easy, I mean how hard can it be to find a stinking sock??

First, technology.  I thought about using a small tracking system for an existing pair of socks thinking maybe I’d be able to track where the socks disappear to.  Water doesn’t mix with electricity, so that was out.  I thought about connecting a pair of socks,  but I made a big hole in the socks and I got busted by my wife for ruining a pair of socks…

Second, brute strength,  I hit the streets to locate the missing socks.  I got crazy and pulled the washing machine and dryer away from the wall so I could thoroughly search.  I actually found two socks, but I had to add them both to the basket of misfits.  I did locate a baseball glove that my son swore was “missing” (tricking me into purchasing a new one..) and some wet cat food, which for my cat Jasper was a win.

Third, follow leads.  I headed to the dreaded sock drawers in my house.  I dumped all the socks on the table from all the rooms, and sure as heck, I was able to locate the second sock for three from the previous missing misfit pile.  They all happened to belong to my youngest son.   I’ll ask him to put them away when he gets home from school, but  I’m pretty sure they will end up somewhere other than the sock drawer….


I got super crazy and went to the other clothes piles and closets in the house and shook them out and turned them inside out to see if a sock got stuck in a pant leg or shirt sleeve.  I found two dryer sheets and a piece of bubblegum…and a crumpled up dollar bill (Cha-Ching!!).

I searched my bedroom, under the bed (I know, super creepy right?), and found something quite interesting.  I found a small basket containing single socks!  Eureka!  Rejoice! Rejoice!  Match after match was found until I was left with these two lonely socks.


Lastly, plead for help.  And now the point of this silly story.  I’m looking for the second sock for the two located above, a Lightning McQueen and Puma.  If anyone has any leads on these missing socks, I would greatly appreciate the assistance.  Of course, all “found” socks and tips will be anonymous.

Is Fiction A Waste Of Time?

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Great points here. Fiction shall persevere.

A tale of two five-weights

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what a beautiful fish!


All five weights are not created equal. I should know. I’ve got four of them. You may ask why I need four of the same rod. The answer is that while they’re all five-weights in name, they could not be more different. Each is a specialist in its field. The two I want to talk about here are my 6’ Fenwick glass rod and my 9’ TFO TiCr.

This all started with a steelhead trip I had planned with my ten year-old. We had to cancel due to weather, and we were were both a little bummed about it. But I told Cam that since we weren’t making the drive to Pulaski, we could spend the day fishing closer to home. I gave him options: trout on the Farmington, stripers on the Hous, or wild brook trout over the hills and far away. Cam decided on brookies. I thought that…

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Not So Catchy Phrases.

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So I’m a bit perplexed by the recent lingo I hear people of all ages and educational backgrounds using these days.  The two that I haven’t been able to wrap my mid around or compel myself to use are, “It is what it is,” and “At the end of the day.”  Normally the latter is used at the beginning of a statement, and the former appears to be used when someone feels nothing can be done about a certain situation.

I looked up these terms on the Internet.  The best place with answers was actually (not always where I’d suggest you look for answers on the Internet, but very entertaining).

“It is what it is,” was defined as:

Used to describe a situation that is unpleasant. Is to be used a lot on Microsoft Office Communicator to describe when a person has no work to do and is dying of boredom. Was coined in the Royal Bank Office, in downtown Toronto.

Person 1: “Damn that’s three weeks without any work, I’m dying.”
Person 2: “It is what it is!”

“At the end of the day,” was defined as:

An irritating verbal crutch, indicating closure or synopsis, for morons who are incapable of finishing a sentence without incorporating at least one tired cliche.

Example: “And so, at the end of the day, when all was said and done, we wrapped things up and we were all happy campers.”

The first few times I heard these phrases I hoped they wouldn’t stick or end up being used by EVERYONE.  Now, I’m at a point where I cringe and begin to shake when I hear someone utter either one of them.  The worst part is most people don’t even use them correctly or in the right context, which further exasperates the problem. ARGH!!

At a time when social media has taken over the globe and people choose e-readers instead of real books, and try to be witty or get a point across in 140 characters, I believe the English language is suffering dearly.  People verbally spout out “OMG!” and “LOL!” instead of using real words to describe emotion.  True human emotion broken down to three letters? What’s next?  I have no idea.  But, as an author, I am calling upon fellow authors and those who choose to use real words to communicate, to help preserve our language.  We need to educate folks on how to communicate instead of relying on cliche phrases.  I never thought I’d see the day that a cliche could be out of context, let alone used so much that it has its own definition.  But the time is now for each of us, one at a time, to stop the insanity.  We owe it to ourselves and our children to maintain real communication with the English language, not the stuff that makes me LMAO!!!!!!!


Things to do for Earth on Earth Day

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Makes sense.

The Monkey Bellhop

planet earth, earth day,

Today is Earth Day and if you’re a procrastinator like me and woke up in a panic this morning trying to decide what to get for the planet that literally has everything, relax. Here’s ten things you can do without breaking a sweat or your piggy bank.

  1. Gather a large bucket of ice cubes, take it out to your front porch and fling them at the landscaping guys who are using leaf blowers at the house next door. The earth will surely appreciate your gesture, however fruitless, and the ice melts quickly so there won’t be any evidence if somebody calls the cops.
  2. Place your car in neutral and have your kids push you all the way to the local library so they will have an understanding of what the world could be like if we run out of fossil fuels. In addition to raising awareness about our Mother Earth…

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