Just released! ROWENA AND THE DARK LORD (Land’s End series, book 2)
Is that a broadsword on your belt, or are you just glad to see me?
“Hot and hilarious!”
“A fantastical tour de force”
“The Princess Bride with Sex”“
Excerpt from ROWENA AND THE DARK LORD, book 2 in the Land’s End fantasy series:
It quickly became apparent that Howard was not a natural horseman. In fact, it was also obvious that Howard was not exactly a guy’s guy, if you know what I mean. I began to wonder if that’s why Richard chose him to accompany me. No competition.
At the same time, I was coming to a conclusion about who was going to keep whom safe. Let me give you a picture.
Hour One into the ride:
“Can we stop now? My backside is sore,” Howard whined.
“Let’s wait until we get to the river,” I said.
Hour Two into the ride:
Moan. “I’ve got to go.”
I pulled up. “Okay, we’ll break here.”
We both swung off our horses. Howard caught his foot in the stirrup and landed on his back.
“Ow, ow!” he cried.
I walked over and extricated his foot.
“Have you ever ridden before, Howard?”
“Once or twice.”
I was beginning to get a very bad feeling.
“Did you volunteer for this job?”
“Yes.” He was now relieving himself off to my right.
“Why?” My voice was perhaps a little harsh.
“To get out of fighting, of course. Everyone says there’s going to be a big battle. It seemed like a good time to leave the castle.”
I rolled my eyes. So now I had a complete newbie horse dude who was also a coward to look after on this trip. Howard the Coward. Lucky me.
“Can we sit for a bit? I’m exhausted.” He plunked down on the grass. Then he sprang up again.
“Ow! Ow! Ow!” He ran around in circles.
“What is it?” I watched in amazement.
“A bee! I sat on a bee.”
Hoo boy. This was going to be a long ride.
“Are you sure it’s a bee?” I said, crossing my arms. “Maybe it was a wasp.”
“Does it matter?” He was jumping up and down.
“Well, if it’s a wasp, you’re okay. If it’s a bee, the stinger will still be stuck in you. So when you sit down again…”
“Ahhh!! Take it out! Get it out!” He lifted his tunic and bent over.
I turned away. “I am so not doing that.”
Melodie Campbell achieved a personal best this year when Library Journal compared her to Janet Evanovich. She has over 200 publications, including 100 comedy credits, 40 short stories, and 4 novels. She has won 6 awards for fiction.
Enter for a $50 Amazon gift certificate and 15 book Giveaway! Free! Deadline May 10 www.funnygirlmelodie.blogspot.ca
ROWENA AND THE DARK LORD, book 2 in the Land’s End series, is NOW AVAILABLE at the special introductory price of .99! (regular price $3.99, after May 1.) Buy Link:
And the one that started it all: ROWENA THROUGH THE WALL, book 1 in the Land’s End series